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Post by snape on Apr 18, 2011 9:53:05 GMT -5
Severus only frowned when she said that she didn't want to be taken away from him. He found that odd, mainly because he had always considered himself as rather poor parental material. He had no personal experiences to draw from and his history definitely left something to be desired so he was just floundering along to the best of his abilities. He had no doubt that he gave Amy what she needed though. He was patient; he listened and he gave advice; and he was stable. If nothing else he at least gave her a dose of sanity...
"I know, child, I know." Snape sighed. "I wish I could help you with that, but I hide my emotions away too. It will just take time to open up... What you need to do is find something you enjoy and focus on that. For me it's being here at Hogwarts because this is my home. It's my Potions and my teaching. To get out of a toxic relationship you have to surround yourself with people who love you and care about you."
He snorted lightly at her next words and gave her a look. It was extremely dangerous to be a donor for a Vampire even as an adult, but at her age it was more so. It made her feel though and it didn't feel right to take that away from her. Not yet. Not when she had nothing else to rely on. At the same time the whole situation caused Severus to feel concerned and, yes, a little frightened for her well-being. She could easily become addicted to the sensation. The Vampire could easily take too much of her blood and then Amy would be dead. When she came clean that she had in fact thought about suicide in the past, he lowered his head somewhat. He didn't want to lose this girl. She was far too young and she still had so much to do...
"You know... I never had a very good father figure when I was your age, Amy. Lucius may be stubborn in his ways, but he does care for you. All of you. There is nothing that he wouldn't do. He has spent his whole life fighting for himself and his family. Your father is a much better man than mine ever was... Your mother too for that matter... Not to mention your siblings... And you have me if necessary... There are a lot of things you should be thankful for. Don't just focus on the bad points of your life." |
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Post by malfoy on May 10, 2011 1:00:03 GMT -5
Snape was a father figure that her dad wasn't. Amy had other reasons she didn't want him to be taken from her. She wanted him to get her father to pay attention to her but not to get himself into trouble with her father. She was sure her father wouldn't be happy with her either. He was a paitient man and he listened and that's really all she needed in a parent. Of course it was hard to come out and say that to her father. She wanted to understand him but she wanted him to understand her as well. She was a teenager for merlin's and was going through the usual teenage things. Did they all think that she would totally miss the bus on the randomness of being a teenager.
Amy listened careful to what Severus had to say on her. He was right but she liked to many things what could she focus on that would get her through this. She figured launching into reading ancient things again would get her mind off things except for Nyx that was. She couldn't get why purebloods as a rule hid their emotions. It made no sense and she wanted to know when it started. When parents started to think that it was okay for all of them to do that. No wonder why so many purebloods were viewed as cruel and other such things. She nodded her head to what he said. "Thanks Uncle Severus for the advice. I will find something but it may take me some time."
Amy knew that no adult would be happy with the fact that she had willingly become a vampire donor. It wasn't like she has much of a choice that night anyways. She wouldn't have come back to the school if she had angered Nyx and she knew that one well. Of course there was no point in telling anyome that there had been a proclamation from the vampire about her possible death if she didn't comply. She knew well that she was risking a lot. She wasn't stupid she had her moments though. She knew that she was concerning Snape however. She didn't mean to but when she was going off the deep end she couldn't help what she did half the time. He lowered his head as she mentioned thinking about suicide. She didn't like making him uneasy so she adverted her eyes. She really needed to pull out of this and soon. If she didn't she didn't even know what would happen or what her emotions would dictate her to do. This was why they needed to show them and not bottle them up.
Amy's head came back up when he started to speak about himself and her father. Could it be that they both went through abuse and that this was the product. However it didn't make sense that Snape was so caring to them. She knew full well that her father was abused thanks to house elves and other things but still why had he turned out the way he did and Snape a different way? She gave him a nod. "Who got you through the tough times Uncle Snape? And i know i should be thankful for what I have and I am I just wish...I just wish that my father would at least say I love you." She waited for his answer to her question [/center] |
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Post by snape on May 17, 2011 14:13:42 GMT -5
"Lily often helped me through the tough times, although I doubt she realizes it."
Lily was pretty much the only reason why Severus had put up with so much shit that had happened in his life. He could have run away from Spinner's End long ago and in fact he had tried a couple of times, but he had always returned. Most of that was due to his mother still being alive at the time and he was afraid for her well-being, knowing that she was just as abused as himself if not more so. However, part of it was because he had been attracted to Lily and she made summer bearable for him.
"I usually just pushed it away though, but that's not healthy either. I ignored it a lot too. I snuck out quite often and wandered the streets until dark so I wouldn't have to deal with it as much..." He shrugged. "Seeing your bruise brought up a lot of painful memories for me."
Snape frowned for a moment. He wasn't going to tell Amy his past. She wasn't in the right state of mind and although she was smart, he also thought that she was too young to understand. He didn't want to place any more of a burden on her... Besides, he had been dealing with his less than stellar history on his own for decades. There was no reason for him to reveal the story to someone else when two people already knew about it. They could provide him with support if he ever reached out to them. He wasn't really sure if Lily knew all of the details or not though; if she was aware that she had helped him so much. She was not only the reason why he never completely ran away from Spinner's End. She was also the reason why he had endured the near-constant bullying from the Marauder's during their Hogwarts years. Maybe he ought to talk to her later, after he dealt with Amy.
"I will try talking with your father, Amy, but I can't promise anything. Just know that he does care for you and loves you, even if he won't admit it. I care for as well, child, and I am always here for you." He gave the girl a genuine smile then; something Severus didn't bestow nearly enough. |
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Post by malfoy on May 30, 2011 19:05:44 GMT -5
Amaranta was rather glad in a sense that Severus was reminding her of why she didn't want to do anything stupid. She knew being a doner was stupid but that she really didn't care about. She was far more interested in her Uncle now. He had shown her that he had gone through not what she did but something similar and probably worse than she. She was glad that he was still around to help her through her moments as well. She cocked her head at the name that he said helped him through. She was the subsitute professor and someone that Amaranta looked up too in a sense even if the woman was muggle born. She was a smart professor and a very nice lady if Amaranta really wanted to make mention of Lily Evans. She righted her head as Severus continued to talk. She wanted to catch everything and forget about why she had come in here in the first place just a bit. She began nodding her head to some of what he had said and then stopped.
She looked down for a moment. "I'm sorry it brought up such painful memories Uncle Snape." She didn't like to think that she could make him sad in anyway. Amaranta was smart and she also knew she was not going to get much more of her Uncle's past because she was young. Maybe that was a good idea especially because of the state she was in now. She did hope that the man that had harmed Snape was long since dead cause if he wasn't and Amaranta ever truly did snap she was going to kill him for hurting her uncle. She mentally scolded herself for such thinking as was not proper for someone raised the way she had been raised. She smiled back at him knowing full well the smile she had gotten was genuine and not usually bestowed on many. She nodded her head to his words and stood up heading for the door.
'
"Thank you very much Uncle Severus." She turned to open the door and head out of his office.
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