{Snape} You wanted to see me Professor

[malfoy]

Amaranta had been rather elusive and not herself for the past couple of days. She'd hid from a few of her friends and she seem less talkative in potions. Something was bothering her and she was doing a poor job of covering it up. She was still pretty upset about her visit with her father the weekend before. She wasn't sure what she should be thinking about anything anymore. Uncle Snape has said that he wanted to see her and that had her concerned as well. She touched her elbow. There was no scare on it anymore but it was were Nyx has sucked her blood. The thought of Nyx brought a sort of calming effect over the young girl as she pulled on a sweater and headed out of the Ravenclaw dorm. One of her friend ran up to her to see if she was okay. "Bree you alright. You seem a bit out of it lately." Amaranta gave off a fake smile that could fool just about anyone. "Oh I'm alright just haven't seen my brother and I'm a little concerned about him. That's all." She walked off past her friend and out of the Ravenclaw common room.

She sighed in relief as she walked down from the tower and towards the dungeons. She wasn't sure what Snape wanted with her but she wasn't simply going to ignore his request to see her. She made it to his office in record time she knocked on the door and waited for him to answer. She wasn't bother by any of the Slytherin's who walked by because they knew better. She'd hex them the very chance they started saying something to her. Plus she was Draco's sister and it was just not a good idea to mess with her.

She gave a sigh as she waited. She was thinking about what happened over the weekend. The anger had left her upon meeting Nyx but that didn't mean that it didn't linger just a little bit. She made sure to cover any visible bruise of scar before Snape opened the door. She didn't want to explain anything.

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[snape]

Severus had noticed that Amaranta was being elusive and distant; she was hiding from her friends and less talkative in class. They were the very signs that Snape had seen in himself far too many times... Which had him concerned. He feared the worst. He knew some Pureblood families were not against corporeal punishment -- it supposedly taught the rebellious ones their proper place. He wasn't sure how to treat this situation if the girl had in fact been abused.

At the knock on his door, he felt the nervous flutter of butterflies in his stomach as he rose from his seat to answer. The sight of Amaranta standing there in the corridor didn't surprise him and he gave her a thin smile. The Malfoys were probably the closest thing Severus had to a family (at the moment anyway) and he actually dreaded the day when they would discover his true loyalties. They would surely strip him of his Godfather title... Then again, if his loyalties were brought to light then it might not even matter. Death was a strong possibility the minute anyone of importance found out.

But that was the way life went. Severus kind of liked living on the edge sometimes. Sadly enough it was something he was accustomed to. He gave a slight sigh, bringing himself back to the matter at end, as he retreated from the door. "Come inside, Amaranta."

[malfoy]

Amy knew that it was not right for a father to hit his daughter. However she had called it upon herself. She had wanted to feel something anything coming from the man that she called father. However she was so utterly confused it wasn't even funny. He loved her but he could not show it. That seemed so wrong. She knew she had it in him. He showed her mother love almost all the time so why could he not show love to his children. There had to be more there then just what his father did to him when he was young. She'd welcome that too it was at least some form of attention. She'd much prefer the non burtality but she welcomed it because she could feel that her father felt something. It was odd and she was sure there was something wrong with her for liking that. Still she hadn't been able to gain anything but more confusion out of it. They had explosive tempers and she's spent half the night before meeting Nyx to get the room back to what it looked like before their fight.

Uncle Sev was taking way to long to open that door. She took a deep breath and looked around her glaring at anyone who dare say a word to her. It was obvious that the usually level headed Ravenclaw was upset about something and most people didn't want to bother her when she was upset. She finally heard movement inside of his office and she let out her breath taking in another one and making sure that no bruise was showing. She didn't want Uncle Severus to say anything to her father or to think any less of her father then she was sure he thought of him anyways. Her father could have no heart at times but it was there Amaranta knew it was there or he would be doing the same things to mother and Sabrina and he wasn't.

Snape opened the door and she walked in even before he said to walk in. She sat down in the chair as if this had been done a hundred times before. Really she's only been in his office a few times and mostly just to ask him to clarify something in potions for her. "You wanted to see me Uncle Snape..." She dropped formalities with him merely because he had called her here and no one was around to her them anyways.

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[snape]

Severus raised an eyebrow as she walked in as soon as he answered her knock and sat down in the chair. He didn't make any kind of comment about it though; no, he merely closed the door before moving to his own seat. A slight smile touched his features for a moment when she called him Uncle Snape. Sometimes the mere idea that he meant so much to the Malfoy children amused him.

"Yes... I've noticed that you haven't been acting like yourself recently. I want to know what's going on. Is anything wrong?"

He gave her one of his trademark piercing looks. Contrary to popular belief, the still relatively young Potions Master could not read minds willy-nilly. He just gave the impression that he could because it often set others on edge. Even though he was a Master of Occlumency, Snape needed to concentrate for Legilimency as well as say the spell. He also wasn't a big fan of invading the mind because it was a sacred place, but he knew how to do it when it needed to be done. Occlumency and Legilimency went together like peanut butter and jelly.

"I can help you, child, but only if you talk to me."

[malfoy]

Amaranta didn't pay much mind to the raised eyebrow that she got from Severus. Even he knew she was upset so there was no hiding that from him. She was in a not caring mood at all and she didn't know why she wasn't able to cover her pain up like she should be able to. She was an extremely intelligent young lady but she did have the tendency to do stupid things out of not knowing how to feel around people half the time. The confusion of her father and the fact that a female could strike emotions in her she never thought possible was just too much for the usual rational fourteen year old. She did notice his smile as she called him Uncle Snape but no smile came over her face like it might have on any other occassion. She forgot about her lack of interest as he began to talk to her. He asked her that oh so annoying question.

"You tell me!" She snapped out at him and instantly regretted doing so. She took a deep shakey breath. Amaranta no matter what would always hold Severus to the highest calliber. She wouldn't care even if he betrayed the Dark Lord and her father. She didn't care about any of that in the first place. Severus was the only one that showed any fatherly anything to her. She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry." Those words didn't usually come out of her mouth unless she was being formal or she was extremely upset. She didn't want to lie to Severus but she also didn't want her father finding out and scolding her more. But at the moment she was in between a rock and a hard place. If she lied to her Uncle she would get in trouble with her father and if she told him what happened then she was going to get in trouble with her Father and make Snape hate her father. She bit her lower lip trying to figure out what to say before the tears started to fall from her eyes.

She moved her hand to wipe them away. She had maybe on cried once before in front of Snape when she was a very little girl. She hated showing the weakness. However Severus was giving her that piercing look that she couldn't stand either. "Please don't be upset with me. Please don't give me that look." Amaranta knew full well that Severus could read her mind if he so choose that was why she could never actually lie to him. She took a deep breath and just nodded her head to what he had said about being able to help if she would just talk. "Its really nothing Uncle Sev. I...I brought it on myself." Her hand went to touch her left arm which still held a bruise. She didn't care to think about the fact that her right arm had the same one. On top of that so did her right shoulder. She was glad that her father hadn't given her a black eye or anything from his slap. She was avoiding the subject at hand and doing a bad job at it still.

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[snape]

His eyes widened somewhat when she suddenly snapped out at him. Well... that had been completely unexpected. He raised yet another eyebrow and gave a sigh. "If I knew that then I wouldn't need to ask you anything, would I?"

Severus inclined his head somewhat when the girl apologized while his concern for her raised a notch or two in response. Those words didn't usually come out of her mouth unless she was extremely upset. He knew she was lying to him and trying to avoid the subject, but he was a patient man. Pushing someone never really helped. It took time to open up... He knew that from experience. He was a bit surprised when tears started to fall from her eyes. He hadn't seen her cry since she was a little girl. Admittedly she was still pretty young, especially in Magical standards; however, she had a tendency to hide her emotions like most Purebloods did. It was just something that was bred into them. They could not show weakness else it might be used against them.

Snape, on the other hand, had learned how to hide away because it had been necessary in his younger years and even now he still wasn't showing all of himself. He rarely ever did. He lowered his gaze slightly at her next words as well as to give her some form of privacy because he didn't like seeing her cry. He hated the fact that he had somehow managed to bring her to tears, but it also gave him a whole new concern...

"Really? What's that on your arm then?" He raised an eyebrow as he looked at her left arm, which she had touched more than once. His keen observation skills came in handy sometimes... "You're just avoiding the subject. Please tell me what's wrong. I can sit here and wait all night if I have to."

[malfoy]

Amaranta was doing a poor job of hiding things which was not something that usually happened. She started to hum to herself. She was trying to calm down before her tears turned. She couldn't have them turn to blood or things would get really dangerous. She wiped more tears from her misty eyes. Why was she so afraid of telling her Uncle what had happened. It wasn't that she was afraid of her father or was she? She couldn't figure anything out these days. She hated people angry at her that much she knew. She hated not knowing and right now she was in such a state of unknowing and confusion that she just didn't get it. She was still on the top of her classes so her grades weren't suffering yet. She knew that she would have to get this under control to keep it that way. However she would not let the muggleborn Granger take over any of her spots again. It wasn't that she hated Granger for being a muggleborn but merely being a know it all. Amaranta knew how to be covert about such things and Granger did not that was all.

Amaranta hated that fact that everyone could tell she was upset. This was one time when she wanted no one to know and wanted to not answer questions about anything. She had heard Snape tell her that he would not have asked if he knew what was going on. She bowed her head and then curled up tightly on the chair that she was sitting on. Moments later she looked down at her knee to notice blood. She quickly wiped her eyes yet again but the tears wouldn't stop. She took a few deep breaths and finally after a few minutes the tears stopped and she pulled out a black cloth and wiped her face hoping to get the blood from her tears off and not look like she'd just gone through some type of war. She looked at Severus wondering only a little about why he was not pushing things out of her. However that was probably the one reason why she loved her Uncle so much and wouldn't care if he betrayed her father regardless if she had the relationship she wanted with her father.

Amaranta could care less about the loyalties too Voldemort and everything. She wanted her father to stop worrying about him and being such a coward. Okay maybe he had a reason to be so but he lived through what he had told her about his father then why would the Dark Lord be any different. Other then the fact that the Dark Lord killed on a whim. He still shouldn't be all that worried. However, Amaranta couldn't understand any of the pain that the Death Eaters had went through either. She was fourteen for goodness sakes and she didn't always have the answers for everything and she knew that. That was why she was in Ravenclaw for goodness sakes and not in the usual family house or any other one for that matter.

She was pulled out of her random thoughts when Snape made mention of the bruise on her left arm. She hadn't realized really that it was showing and that she had actually taken off her sweater absentmindedly because crying made her warm up half the time. She was very sure that Uncle Snape could sit and wait for her to talk all night and so could she but at some point she'd have to say something. It was better now then later. She was caught and there was no way of getting out of it. "I brought it upon myself. Father and I had a fight..that's all." Okay so she had only left out the details. That was the just of it. She'd gotten mad at her father and well this is what happened. She lowered her head into her knees and took a few deep breaths to keep from crying again. She didn't know if she had done the right thing. It was after all her fault because she was tired of feeling so empty but it had only made things worse in a sense. "I don't want to be empty...and I've become a....a donor to a vampire." There was no use in just leaving it at that. She of course mumbled that last sentence as she still had her head resting on her knees.

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[snape]

The one thing Severus had learned in all of his years as a Master Spy was patience. He knew it best to wait for the Dark Lord to address him so he had stayed silent, letting the other think about what needed to be done. He never interrupted and he either knelt calmly until he was told to rise or just stood there with his arms behind his back while he watched the time tick by. It was probably only one of the reasons why Voldemort had liked him. Snape had understood what was necessary faster than most of the other Death Eaters...

He knew that Amaranta would speak eventually so he wasn't going to push her because that just had a tendency to make the person close up even more in response. He really wasn't sure what to think when he saw that her tears contained blood. He just merely frowned a little as he watched her dab at her face with a black cloth. The bruise on her left arm was rather noticeable, but he wasn't going to jump to conclusions just yet. Her next words caused him to sigh and close his eyes for a moment.

"Did Lucius hit you?"

Damn him! A true flash of anger entered Severus before he squashed it down expertly underneath his Occlumency shields. Getting mad would not help Amy and he didn't want her to think that he was feeling this way because of something that she had done; that somehow she had deserved it... Merlin no! He shook his head.

"There's no excuse for that. It isn't right for a parent to hit a child."

Snape stood up from his chair and walked around his desk. Now was not the time to create a barrier between himself and this young girl who needed him. He who understood abuse better than most did probably. He had only talked about his true past at Spinner's End with one or two people so not many knew what Severus had been through as a child. Or really why he was the way he was. He soon perched himself on another seat next to Amaranta and he raised an eyebrow at her next comment, which he was actually able to hear since he was so close.

"What? Why would you do that? Don't you know how dangerous it is?" He pushed that aside and gave a sigh. "Nevermind, nevermind... What happened, Amy? Why did Lucius hit you?"

[malfoy]

Amaranta knew that her last sentence would worry her uncle as much as well everything else would. He was patient with her and she liked that. It was one of the reasons she gave him so much respect. He knew how hard it was for people to open up at times. Least for her that was. Logically speaking she would come out with issues far faster when he was patient then she would with any other teacher. She hated the million questions that could come of things but she allowed them to come from Severus. After all she knew he wanted to help. It was nice to be with someone that wasn't confusing her as much as her father was and life at the current moment. He asked if her father hit her. She looked up from her curled up position at him but said nothing until he was completely done talking to her. He was sitting next to her now and so it was time for her to come clean with everything. Of course that would take a bit longer to get out. After all she was not sure how to explain everything she had felt or how she as feeling now. It was another thing that made her angry. Not being able to explain or being confused was not a known world for the rather bright Ravenclaw.

"Yes but he picked me up from my kneeling position and shook me rather violently first hence the bruises on my arms. I...I brought it upon myself though. I said things to him that made him angry. I hurt him because I wanted him to understand the hurt and pain and emptiness that is inside of me. I wanted to feel something from him. I wanted to know that he either hated or loved me. I wanted him to drop his damn mask. I thought I was fine with this. But...but it's only made me more confused. His words make no sense to me because they don't go with his actions and I don't know what to do anymore and I don't like it. She put her head back down on her knees again and curled up tighter. That was the just of what she had done. She wasn't going to go into a word for word recap of the entrie incident and Snape would know that she was sure. She could send the concern in his voice about the hole being a blood donor to a vampire and how dangerous that was.

"Do you think I don't know that Uncle Severus." She was now looking him straight in the eyes. "But she makes me feel. Feel like I never have before. And had I not become a donor I would have died that night." She just looked at him with eyes that were blank of most any emotion at the moment. They were dark and seemed to be boring into his soul which was of cours not possible.

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[snape]

Severus shook his head. He wasn't sure what to do, let alone think or say. He had never actually dealt with a case of abuse before. Of course he had experienced it so he knew what it was like, but that didn't mean he had a clue as to what his next course of action should be. He just sighed somewhat as he watched the girl curl up even tighter in her chair. He reached out his hand gently and stroked her back for a moment.

"I'm sorry..." He wasn't sure why he was apologizing, but it felt like the right thing to do for some reason. "Has Lucius hit you before?"

Somehow he didn't think so because of how confused she was with her father's actions, but one never knew these days and it was always better to ask than to just assume. He raised an eyebrow at her last comment. He knew that she understood the risks of becoming a donor to a Vampire (she was a Ravenclaw after all); however, he was more surprised by her words than the action itself. She was empty. Her eyes were blank and there simply wasn't any emotion in her at the moment. Her gaze itself was dark and made him feel uncomfortable, but he didn't move. Nor did he take his hand away from her shoulders.

"How long have you been feeling this way?"

The emptiness could lead to depression as well as trying whatever was necessary just to feel again like taking drugs or attempting suicide. Severus didn't want her to become him. He would not wish that fate on anyone.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

[malfoy]

Amaranta finally adverted her eyes and stuck her head in her knees again. Thing had just become more complicated. Each step she took around her father and friends only made the emptiness slice at her heart. She wasn't an evil child and pranks she and Draco did only cause harm some of the time because they were bored and she knew Draco was as empty as she was in some sense of the words. They had eachother and mom and that was it. They tried so hard or at least she did to get father to understand them but he didn't. He only got angry when they didn't do something tha he wanted them to do. He got angry because things were not going his way. They were teens for goodness sakes they were supposed to be trying to stretch their wings and ask questions in a sense. However Amaranta knew full well that as a pureblood you questioned nothing of you family but she found it hard not too. She closed her eyes and mentally shook off the things that were running through her mind. She was pulled out of her thoughts by Snape's words.

He had said sorry and then asked if her father had hit her before. Oh she had lost count of how many times he had attempted to do so and then stopped. She was a little baffled by the sorry but she didn't really pay it much mind. "He had come after Draco and I many times but not until now has he actually hit either of us. But he threatens alot. It was tried of the threats I guess and that's why we fought. I figured if I felt something from him the emptiness and confusion would go away but it only made it worse. His words made it worse." She knew that trying to get a rise out of her father was stupid. She kew that now but each and every time he sent mixed signals she could help but by confused by those as well. This fight had only escalated the mere fact that she was confused by her father and that the void he left in her heart was making her lonely and leading her down a path that could be bad for her health in the first place. She was pulled out of those thoughts when she was asked about her own feelings really.

"Since before I started school to be honest. Something was missing and empty once I found out exactly what that word meant. I have my brother I know that but but even when I try so hard to be an obedient daughter and I try...I don't get much from it. Mother shows love and affection to us but father. I strive to get anything from my father and it only leaves him hollow and empty." She could feel the tears coming again and she didn't want them to fall. She held them back but gave a momentary shuddered as Severus touched the shoulder with the bruised on it. "I don't know where to start or how to start. I can't take this anymore!" She screamed out though muffled as she hadn't once lifted her head when she was speaking. She was not stupid enough to commit suicide but going to other sorts of things was a possibility. After all she was a blood donor now.

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[snape]

Snape only felt a little bit better when Amy said that she had never been hit by Lucius in the past. Apparently this was the first time... But frankly he didn't care if it was once or a thousand because there was no reason to abuse a child. He frowned a little as she continued, basically blaming herself for what had happened. It sounded far too familiar.

"It's not your fault, Amy. Whatever you did or didn't do is no reason to be abused as a result... Punished, yes maybe, but not like that. Not with a physical altercation."

Her story was really starting to strike a cord with him. It was clear that her abuse wasn't as bad as his had been (yet), but he felt for her all the same. He wasn't sure how to respond when she told him how long she had been empty for. Snape closed his eyes for a moment. He felt her shudder underneath his hand; however he didn't move away. He gave her a gentle squeeze, which was more like a half-hug to be honest, all too aware of the bruises on her body. He could sense that Amy was close to the edge of no return. He didn't know what she might attempt in such a state... If she would turn suicidal as he had done in his past or if it would be something else like becoming a blood donor. That was suicidal in itself.

"I felt the same as you do now when I was younger... Empty and alone... I was convinced that no one cared about me." He pulled his arm away from her shoulders and rolled up his sleeve. The straight scars upon his wrist were still there, vivid as ever; as if they had only happened yesterday. "I don't want you to take the same route I did, child. I am here for you."

[malfoy]

Amy couldn't help but blame herself because she had left out a little detail. She had hurt her father physically in the process as well. "It wasn't just me who got hurt. A piece of glass cut his cheek because you know what happens when I get up. Things tend to blow up well that happened. And Father made anything not already a mess an even bigger a mess." It wasn't just her father's fault. She had made it so that she felt something. Of course not she was so confused and hadn't felt like telling anyone because even to her it sounded like she was upset that she got essentially what she wanted. However in all reality she'd gotten nothing. It was just for that moment that she had felt completed in some way. Otherwise she was just well worthless at times. She shook her head trying to think logically about everything but as luck would have it she was her own worst enemy in the first part. She really just wanted everything to end. She wanted it to be like it was when they were little. She wanted to see her father through the eyes of a five year old that still adored him. That last thought made her think of her little sister who was probably so confused about what was going on right now. She hoped that Sabrina would never be in her position.

Amy had already past the point of no return. She had snapped that night. She had to avoid death become a blood donor to a vampire. She was snapped out of the thoughts of Nyx with her Uncle's words. She looked at him for a long moment and at the scars on his arm. Had her Uncle actually tried to off himself? What good did offing youself do? What did that prove? Alright so Amaranta couldn't lie to herself she had entertained the thought of killing herself at least once or twice. However she found no logic behind being dead. That's what suicide if done right did. It just made you dead. It was the easy way out and as one could already tell Amy liked the complicated ways out of things. Complicated she understood. He didn't want her going down the same path he did and for that she was grateful. She uncurled herself and gave him a big hug. "I really don't know what to do anymore Uncle Snape. I...I want to be a good daughter and I want us not to fight but...but I'm a teenager. I have my days." Her voice was soft but it lacked any life what so ever and her eyes were dull. There was a little spark of fire in them she didn't want to give up she just didn't know what to do.

[snape]

"Ah, I see..."

He was a little surprised when the girl told him that she wasn't the only one who had been injured during the attack. Apparently she had also cut Lucius's cheek with some glass. Just the thought of it made him smirk for a moment as he imagined that pretty face forever marred by a small but noticeable scar. He could definitely see Lucius flying off the handles at that... Still, no matter what Amy said, the excuse she gave was not enough. Nothing would be.

Severus raised his eyebrow at her reaction - or lack thereof rather - and rolled down his sleeve once she had gotten a good look. There had been plenty of other scars across his wrists that were far too straight to be considered anything else but self-mutilation. He had almost bled to death at the young age of seventeen after putting the razor too deep. He froze for a moment as the girl uncurled herself and gave him a hug. It took him a moment or two to relax again; to actually return the embrace... He gave a sigh at her words.

"I'm not sure what else to tell you... But you can bet that I'll be talking to your father as soon as I can." His dark eyes flashed. "Is there anything else you want to tell me while you're here? Sometimes just having someone who can listen to you helps."

[malfoy]

Amaranta let go of Severus and sat down once again. She seemed like a broken china doll. She was the lively one of the two of them always had been. However the lack of talk with her brother and her brain going every which way because of her father zapped her life away. The only time she felt like any life as in her was when she was with Nyx. The vampire had a way of pulling the life out of her and not in the literal sense. Amaranta was intelligent enough to know that she was in danger for being a Vampire's blood donor. However it would be Nyx that would be introuble when her father found out. She was sure that Severus would tell him when he told her that he would talk to her father. She figured that he would but she was afraid of her father going off on him or the two of them getting into a big fight. She didn't want that to happen. She didn't want to be told that she could go anywhere near her Godfather unless of course it was for class or something. She didn't want her father to have a reason for sending her and Draco away to Durmstrange or splitting the two of the up as well. It was known both other schools took in girls and boys but most thought of each of them as all boy or all girl schools.

"I...I don't...I don't want him to get angry with you. I don't want to be taken away from you." Severus really was her sanity when her father and brother weren't able to be so. He was her godfather for goodness sakes and he kept her on the right track not only with her studies but with life. To not have that would drive her even father down the path of destruction. After all the Malfoy children if not already over the deep end sure would be that way if things went on much longer like this. If and when the Dark Lord came back things would only get worse. She just wasn't sure what she was supposed to think about all of this. "I..I want to feel again Uncle Severus but I don't know how. I'm just as bad as my father when emotions start to confuse me. I...I just shut them off and I don't want too I want to be able to express them but I don't know how." She sighed and looked away from him for a moment. She loved her family with all her heart but sometimes she just couldn't show it. She'd been brought up the Malfoy way. She was a Malfoy but she wanted to break the mold. She was more like her mother every day but still she was influenced by how her father treated everything as well.

"Uncle Severus its bad..its bad to have a vampire being the thing that gives you life isn't it. I mean I know its dangerous to be a donor and all but....How can I give up feeling?" There was concern flashing in her eyes now. She was so confused that sooner or later she was going to end up passed out in St. Mungo's or the hospital wing depending on how far out of it she actually got. She didn't cry anymore even though she wanted too. Crying would send her into cardiac arrest if she wasn't careful and cried blood. She let out a long sigh and decided now would be the time to come clean. Come clean with the fact that she'd thought about suicide that night even after meeting Nyx. "Uncle Snape not that I would actually off myself because logically that would solve nothing. I have entertained the notion of doing so. I nearly overdosed on pain medication that was expired but I couldn't bring myself to actually do it. I did when Nyx was taking blood from me hope that it would kill me. Then maybe my dad would understand. But of course her touch gave me the will power to live still. I just want my father to know I love him regardless I just want him to show us he cares that's all. Not just show us he's afraid that we'll get hurt. I just want a father."

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