(Lucius) Not this Again

[malfoy]

Amaranta felt like she had redeemed herself this week. She had seen the guy that she had to cancel a date on and had, had one with him. However just like the week before her father had called them home once again. She was sure it was because the last visit had not ended as he wanted it too. So in attempts to not get a howler from her father she was going to go. Draco she had not drug with her this time as she made her way onto the train. She sat in a compartment and unlike last time sat there in complete silence curled up in a ball. She wasn't happy to be going home so soon after the last incident of being called home. She also knew that her father was not going to be happy about Draco not being with her.

She glared at the house elf that ushered her home. She threatened it a few times within inches of its life. She really hated the filthy little creatures but she knew she's be in more trouble for killing one. She walked into the house and stood in the entrance. Second later she made her way to the room with the baby grand piano. The piano that she used when upset. She sat down on the bench but she did not turn to play it. She wasn't upset. She really had nothing to do this weekend so coming home to help out mom was just fine with her. Plus she could take the time to put words to a melody that had been playing in her head for days now. Still she waited for her father to come and find her as she had not tired to sneak in this go around

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[Lucius Malfoy]

Lucius put his book down and stared at the wall for a moment. His daughter was home, he had felt her magic enter the manor as she passed through the gates. He stayed completely still for a moment, knowing he should go down and greet her, but not really wanting to. Admittedly he had summoned her to the home and he was not nervous about seeing her, Malfoy's were never nervous.
He took a deep breath and rose from the seat, smoothing down his robes he left the room and made his way to the main staircase. She was not in the hall, so he assumed she had made her way to the living room with the piano.
He was proved right as he entered, seeing her sitting by the piano, her face not looking at all pleased to see him.
Most fathers would smile at their daughter, maybe hug them or something similar. But not Lucius, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to express positive emotion to his children, unless it was a congratulations, which Amaranta certainly did not deserve at the moment.
"Amaranta. Your mother is out at the moment, but she sends her love. Did you succeed in rearranging your social obligations?" " His last words were a tad sarcastic and she would pick it up in a heartbeat.

[malfoy]

Amaranta wasn't exactly sure what was taking her father so long. Sometimes she didn't get that man. Okay admittedly she didn't get her father at all. Even as a small child he'd done thing contrary to what parents were supposed to do. She figured it was because of what her mother told her about his father. She just wanted her father to love her. That was all she really wanted. He never seemed to show it. Sometimes she thought her did and other times he just seemed so distant and uncaring. It drove the fourteen year old crazy. She always tried to be obedient which was why she was here in the first place. She wasn't scared of her father really she just didn't get him. She wasn't nervous about this meeting either a Malfoy was never ever nervous about anything. Okay so that was a lie she was nervous when trying something new sometimes but you never showed your weaknesses.

Her head snapped up as she heard her father step into the room. The words coming from his mouth made her want to hit him. A glare formed in her eye and the rest of her looked unmoved and indifferent. "If you must no I have no social obligations this weekend. Draco will not be joining us." Her voice was sturdy and cold and she knew her father wanted Draco to be there but she would would not pull him away from Nellie again. Not when Nellie needed him. She looked at her father and waited for him to say something that was not sarcastic though sarcasm was dripping in her words as well.

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[Lucius Malfoy]

He could see the anger in her eyes as she watched him speak and in the pause before she spoke. It hurt. Lucius loved her more than his own life, yet she just viewed him as a strict, figure of hatred. He could never say I love you. He had tried, so many time, but he just couldn't bring himself to say it to his children. He had never known why.
But now his children did not care for him, and it was tearing him apart inside.

"I am glad to here that Amaranta. I hope your social obligations will not interrupt with your family life any more."
He frowned as she spoke of his only son.
"Yes, well we will not be forced to tolerate his absurd temper tantrums again and I hope you are not planning to throw any more."
He gave her a cool glare, hating himself for it the whole time.
He made his way further into the room, standing by the fireplace and watching her in silence. His right hand absentmindedly rubbed his left arm, where the filthy dark stain lingered on his skin.
He opened his mouth slightly, as though to say something to her, regret haunting his eyes. Before a mask slipped back over his face and the humanity was gone.

[malfoy]

Amaranta was still angry at her father for the last time he had called her over. However she had no other reason really to be mad at him save for his sarcasm. Amy was not really in a good mood as it were either. Still her mother needed her and she would obey like a good child. Of course with the prospect of her mom being out she didn't want to be in the house alone with her father. She could think of a thousand or more things to do then be with her father. She didn't hate her father she really didn't. She was sure that her father didn't like them much though. He never seemed to be able to say anything but praise when they did what he wanted them too and apparently they had not been meeting his expectations. She was a teenager for crying out loud. She was going through her rebellious stage. Her parents might want to take that as a good thing. It meant she was a normal kid. Okay so she wasn't exactly normal she was fascinated in things that her parents would not approve of but still she was normal in the thought process of what she knew teens should be.

A low growl came out of her. Something that sounded deadly and like she was going to make a move to hit her father. That didn't happen instead a class object near him exploded. "If you'd prefer me to be a loner and never have a social obligation again you are vastly underestimating me father. Family is important to me or I would not be here. It important to Draco as well but we are at school father. This is our time for us. You keep calling us home and it gets just slightly annoying. Mother knows as well and if mother had summoned me here you would not be getting this from me. But it was you I got an owl from mother the other day. I know how she feels. Don't think I'm stupid and that I wouldn't drop everything to come home in emergency situations but I have not been given a valid reason to be called home almost every weekend. Even my friends are wondering if i'm doing it just because i do not want to hang out with them. You have no idea how angry that makes me father. My own friends think I hate them because Ikeep coming home. even when I show them your letter." Her usual soft and angelic voice was not to be found. A low deadly growl was what her words were. He eyes now had flashes of flames in them and they were black. It was not something anyone wanted to see out of the usually rational Ravenclaw female.

She almost wanted to scream at the way he talked about her twin. Had he not realized over the years how fiercely protective of her brother she was. "He had a very good reason for throwing a temper tantrum. And No i'm not playing on throwing one but you just bring out in me father. A few more glass pieces broke around his head as her own powers had moved them to that angle. The lights began to flash once more and she took a deep breath. He showed human side for a moment which allowed her to calm down. "Wipe that stupid mask off your face for Merlin's sake father. act like a human being not like some little scared drone!" She screamed at him and then turned from him and pushed passed him out into the main entrance hall again.

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[Lucius Malfoy]

Lucius felt anger rip across his features as she shouted at him. But it was only to mask the heart-break that burned deep within him and tore through him as she spoke.
But it was her last words that made the anger take over. How dare she say that to him!
He was her father, she should not speak to him like that!
It hurt, so much. Just to hear her screaming those horrible things at him.
A shard of glass from the mirror nearby flew and cut his cheek and he hissed in pain.
His face twisted into a hatred, a dangerous anger he had never used in front of his children before.
He grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her round. There was a second of absolute silence and then his hand cracked round like a whip and struck her brutally across the face.
"I AM YOUR FATHER. YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!"
He turned away, horror already filling his heart as something like tears bloomed in his eyes but did not flow as he collapsed to the sofa. His head fell into his hand and he spoke quietly.
"Why do you make you so angry Amy. I hate it so much."

[malfoy]

Amaranta knew full well that her words would sting her father. They were meant too. She wanted him to know how much is inability to show tenderness and love hurt her. Draco would sit there and disregard their father's feelings she was sure. But she knew he strived for his father's love just as much as she did. Maybe a little less but still. All she wanted was for her father to love her or to at least hit her and show that there was some sort of something in him. She was sick and tired of the mixed signals and the utter disregard for their feelings. Her mother was an authoritative parent. Her father an Authoritarian father. It was his way or the highway most of the time and she couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand to have such different parenting styles out of her parents. She wanted them to be the same. She wanted love from her father that was all. He couldn't see that though and so angry she wold stay at him. She would be in her own right a Daddy's girl but always respect her mother more. It was just the way things had turned out for fourteen years of her life.

She heard her father hiss in pain but she didn't care. All emotions of any kindheartedness had left Amaranta with her words. Then out of no where he harshly grabbed her shoulder and spun her around catching her off balance. She barely had time to register the smack across the face before she fell to the ground. She stayed on her knees breathing heavily. No tears formed in her eyes. She shook out of anger and not out of fear. She could not be afraid of a man who was scared of his father's shadow or being like him. Had he not realized he was his father only with less of the abusiveness. But even that was denying who he was. He words did nothing to make her care. She would speak to him as she choose fit for the situation. She was a rebellious fourteen year old for Merlin's sake. She stood up still a little shaky and walked over to the couch. She didn't care that her father looked like he was going to cry or anything like that.

"I make you angry father because its in my job description to do so. I'm fourteen year old for MERLIN'S SAKE!" She was still screaming at him. She knew that her face was red where he slapped her but she didn't care. She was sure her shoulder would be bruised but even that she didn't care about. The glass table next to them exploded and shards few around her head. She didn't release them just yet. "Stop being afraid of your father's shadow. You are so worried about being him that you have made yourself him. If you weren't such a scared little drone then maybe things would be different. BUT YOU ARE SCARED of your own damn shadow father. I...I don't even know why I look up to you so much. I DON'T THINK YOU EVEN REALIZE how much Draco and I LOVE YOU. HOW much we need a father and not a LAW MAN. I...I....I HATE YOU FOR BEING MARRIED TO YOUR JOB!" She let the pieces fly. None of them hit her enough for her to be cut. She caught a few in the palm of her hand and then threw them at her father standing up for her kneeling position in front of him.

"Get up off your ass father and show me. Show me that you love me or show me how much I make you angry. I DARE...I DARE you to hit me again." Amaranta knew she was being slightly masochistic but she couldn't help it. She'd rather feel the pain of his slaps or a beating then feel the emptiness. "I'd rather you...you BEAT me to an inch of my life. At least I would know you felt something." She should have been crying by now but something simply wouldn't allow her too. She was far too upset. The lights flicked on and off and a few light bulbs shattered. "I DARE YOU!"

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ooc: Yes she intends to have a bruise that is visible for snape to find. just keep that in mind. Ooo and she's very upset with her father.

[Lucius Malfoy]

She spoke again and he knew that she meant her words to hurt him, to make him flinch in agony. That hurt in itself, his own child was trying to cause him pain. He loved her so much, yet she wanted him to hurt.
Lucius might have been able to hold back his anger, but her words cut too deep, broke into things that secretly ripped him apart every single day.
He crossed the room in a heartbeat, blood dripping from his face in a steady flow. His mercury eyes were dark, like storm clouds and the anger he felt at the moment finally burst in a wave of magic that ripped through the room and sent furniture and ornaments to the walls where they shattered on impact.
His hands tightened around her arms and he dragged her to her feet, shaking her violently.
"Dont! Don't you dare suggest I don't love you!
Don't you ever assume those things!
I LOVE YOU! More than anything and I always have. Why is it so hard for you to understand that!"
His voice, which had been shouting and pleading turned lower, more deadly and his grip tightened.
"Don't you ever speak of things you do not understand. Your Grand-father would have locked you in the cellar and left you with permanent scars if you were beaten by a mudblood. He would have thrown you from the house, or beaten you until you creamed for mercy if you ever spoke to him like that. Is that what you want? A father who scares you more than anything else, who you have to depend on for everything, while never getting anything back?"
He pushed her away from his, suddenly disgusted by her. Or that was how it appeared. In reality he was horrified by the monster he had turned into. He could see his father reflected in the shard of mirror on the carpet and he knew there was no going back.
"I failed you as a father, in the same way my father failed me. It is up to you to break the cycle. Somehow I doubt it will be as easy as you assume. I have a reputation to keep up, you understand that."
They both knew he wasn't just talking about his social status, but the mark on his arm as well.
"You can hate me all you like. I have no heart, you must have heard that before. I can not show you the emotions I feel, or the ones you need."

He turned, heading toward the door, not even bothering to wipe the blood from his face. He passed her, his mask long gone and replaced with a look of regret and self-loathing.
Lucius hated himself for being his father.

[malfoy]

Amaranta could not see the hurt in her father. There was something that burst from within him at her words. She knew it would have to. She'd had enough. She'd had enough of his inability to show affection and love. She loved him nonetheless. It didn't matter that he could be heartless he was her father and she loved him. It wasn't out of obligation but out of her girly admiration for him. The ideas she had of him when she was just a little girl. There was nothing in the world her father could do to make her afraid of him or to make her love him any less. However in that love she also hated him more than words could say. Hate was sure a strong word but the emotion she felt had no other word that could go too it. She loved him and she hated him all at the same time. Fear however was the farthest thing from her mind.

He was on her in a heartbeat. Things flew towards the wall and she had to dodge a vase and a table all at the same time. She cleared the vase but the table the vase had been setting on hit her in the side. She didn't wince in pain though. She moved away a second later so it could continue it's movement to the wall. It seemed that her explosive temperament came from her father. All at once his hands are around his arms and he was dragging her to her feet. She stood tall and let him shake her violently trying not to get whip lash in the process or it. She listened as he shouted his words to her. He said he loved her and that he'd always loved her. "Because you never show it father. It means one thing to say but to show it means so much more. Actions speak louder than words and I would think a supporter of Lord Voldemort would understand that." Amaranta's voice had changed into something of a calm yet deadly tone. There was ice in her soft tone. However there was still venom that could be spun in her words. She was calming now because she had resolved to completely shut down. There was not point in continuing anything when she was getting exactly in a sense what she wanted.

"I have a father like that. With less of the brutality. I think I'd welcome the brutality father. At least that would mean that there was something in you." she gasped only slightly when he had tightened his grip on her arms and then he pushed her away and she stood there tall and proud in an ironic sort of way. "I want to feel something father. I don't want to be empty anymore." She took a deep breath and listened to him continue to talk to her. Saying things like he had failed her as a father and that she could break the cycle. And that he has a reputation. "Damn your reputation father. It shouldn't mean anything when it comes to your children. Just like you want us to leave the reputations we make at school to come up. You should practice what you preach." Suddenly all at once the tears started to fall.

Amaranta Bryony Malfoy was not supposed to cry ever. She was raised to be her father's daughter. Raised to not cry and be brave and cunning so you didn't have to ever cry. However here she was falling to her knees and crying. It wasn't because she was sad it was because she was in a sense happy. Glad that her father finally felt her pain. However she needed to stop having little crying fits. It was the second one in the span of two weeks and crying was a sign of weakness. Crying also was a sign of Amaranta being rushed to St. Mungo's as well. If the never fading flower on the poisonous vine of bad faith continued to cry her tears would turn to blood. It didn't take long for that to happen this time either. She got up off her knees and ran in front of her father. "You have a heart I know you do. And I know you can show some emotion even if its a bit messed up. Even if it hurts my physically. Father there is nothing you could do that would ever make me with you dead. I love you too much for that. I'm just angry with you but...but now I know. Know I know you can me human." She dried her face though now her blood was slightly smeared on her cheeks as well. She stepped aside to let her father pass. She was still upset with him but that would fade and she'd become indifferent with him. She needed to clean up her face soon though and get out of the house.

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[Lucius Malfoy]

A tiny drop of his blood fell from his cheek and marked the cream carpet where he paused for a moment. For once he stopped to genuinely listen to his daughter, but in his anger the words swam over him and they meant nothing. He could not bring himself to fall to his knees and beg for her forgiveness. He could not tell her his emotions, not would he ever concede those words burned him like the cruciatus curse.
Because he was a Malfoy.
He was a hypocritical, strict, vile, bad parent.
He gave a gentle laugh, but it was cold. It was the sort of laugh he used to mock those below him, those he did not value as important. His voice was cool and clear, like it had been at the start of their conversation. For he had put his mask back up, because having it down hurt him too much.
"You are right, my dear. I have failed as a parent. I always assumed you knew my feelings, my...my love for you and your brother. I am not a good parent.
But please, try not to be selfish, try not to be the Malfoy I raised you and try to understand what I might feel, try to understand how much easier it is to be cruel, when you spent years of your life fearing for your wife's life...Your children's."
He walked away, the tone of his voice having never wavered with emotion. He took the steps two at a time and soon he was lost to the many rooms of the house.