Just Like Old Times

[snape]

"Mm..."

Severus nodded his head slowly and felt a slight flush rise in his cheeks. Lily had the ability to make act like a teenager all over again, which wasn't necessarily a good thing... He cleared his throat awkwardly before he drained the rest of his tea. He knew that he was exposing himself in front of her, but it wasn't nearly as intrusive to his sensibilities as he had thought it would be. It was actually kind of easy to slip back into his old role again of treating Lily like a confident; that she was special to him in her own unique way.

"I always meant to but..."

He trailed off and shrugged. Other things had been on his mind back in those days. He had been afraid that Lily was just his friend and as such would never see him as boyfriend material. He had also been extremely wary of starting a relationship with her for a few reasons... First of all he knew he had problems expressing himself in an affectionate way and he had no idea how to advance the romance properly; not to mention his slight fear of physical contact, which would probably get in the way. Secondly, what if they did date and then they broke up? Could they go back to being friends afterwards or would it just be forever weird between them? He didn't want to risk losing her and yet he nearly had anyway. For perhaps the umpteenth time he silently cursed the Marauders.

Snape raised an eyebrow at her last comment and felt his heart flutter in his chest. He began to hope again. Perhaps waiting around hadn't been such a bad idea after all... "Good to know. I'll keep that in mind." He wasn't going to pressure her into a relationship right now. He didn't want to be the rebound either. "How 'bout we just pick up where we left off and just be friends for now?"

[krisy]

Lily always expected more out of Severus emotionally. She couldn’t understand why she had expected more of a reaction from him. His casual way of turning her down, felt like a slap in the face. The heat rose to her face as she turned away from him and started picking at her food again.

Lily knew she was in no way ready for another relationship, but still it pained her. Inside she knew she was happy with just being friends with Sev for now. Still Lily was always popular with the guys and even when she was in school it was her doing the rejections. She now realized how painful it was to be on the other end of it.

The food on her plate didn’t interest her, but inside her gut was telling her to leave the Great Hall all together. She knew she couldn’t do that. It would be far to obvious to him that he had upset her, and really she had no reason to feel that way.

James and she had just got out of a rocky marriage. She needed time to figure out how to do things alone again. Her focus now needed to be her kids and her work. She couldn’t have some guy whether it be Severus or someone else being a distraction to her. A friendship was ideal right now.

“Oh, yes. Yes of course.” She tried to sound nonchalant, but her breaking voice was sure to give her away. Hastily she went to reach for her tea, but instead she knocked it over. The contents spilled forward, dripping down the side of the table and onto hers and Professor Flitwick’s stout legs. “Sorry Filius.” She muttered, quickly pulling out her wand to rectify her error.

For what felt like a few very long minutes, but was sure to be just a few seconds she sat with her head in her hands. She rose to her feet swiftly, the wooden chair scrapping againt the rough stone floor. “I’m going to go.” She said softly. Her eyes looking anywhere but at him. “It was nice to see you again Severus.” She said, taking the door through the staff’s entrance of the Great Hall. The door shut behind her quickly and she to refuge against the nearest wall.

“You’re an idiot Lily…” She muttered to herself.

A portrait opposite her looked both ways down the deserted corridor, before quirking a brow. “First sign of madness deary, talking to ones self.”

“Sod off.” Lily muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. The portrait huffed, but didn’t say anything more.